I bet he comes in French.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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