I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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