i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
