I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
