you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
