morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
