i permit you to call me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
