i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
