Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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