don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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