Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
