chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
