Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
