She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
