i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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