i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
