Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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