I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
