I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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