Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's Friday. Sex?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
