can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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