is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
