I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i believe in u and ur pee
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