We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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