this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
