I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
