her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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