How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
