can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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