she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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