Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
