Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
