You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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