i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
