Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
