# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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