I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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