And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
