this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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