He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
