I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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