I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
