careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
