ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
