Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
