Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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