Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
