Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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