Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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