you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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