And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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