I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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