he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
