I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
