So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
