It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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