She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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