You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
