I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
love makes seman taste better
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
