waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
