whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
