So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
