I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize