btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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