you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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